I cannot have that which I want

that which I need

I think it is there

…but it is not

I see it

… it eludes me in the darkness

it does not want me

I cannot have it

I think I have it

…but a short time later I find it gone

I am short of breath…thinking about it

 in the darkness

late at night

I am blinded by the thought, of the possibility

of what it might mean

a flower

a warm breeze

a nest

…to rest in

the cold winter night

but it is not to be

…forever in the abyss